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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Open Relationships

I'll start this off by saying Husband and I do not have an open relationship, so all of this post is opinion and conjecture.

Whenever two consenting adults enter into any relationship, ground rules must be established between them. In some cases, it's as simple as "toliet paper goes over, not under". In others, its as complicated as working out what an "open" relationship is.

Possibly the worst moment in negotiating an open relationship is bringing it up (I have been here). You don't know what your partner is going to say, how they're going to react, or what ripples it will cause in your future. You also don't know what they're going to assume about your reasoning:

Husband assumed I was interested so I could be with women as well as him. While I won't say that wasn't also on my agenda, it wasn't a big part and I told him as much.

Then the real negotiations begin: what do you want? what do they want? What do each or neither of you not want?

In my case, this is where it ended in failure.

However, I suspect that there are people out there who can come to a reasonable, mutual decision and thereafter enjoy an open relationship without any harm to the original pairing. It's a matter of comfort, security, and being able to create a situation that both parties agree on and feel comfortable with.

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